A colleague asked me today why I wear a full face of makeup in the office. She asked me who I was looking all cute for. I thought about it for a second and responded…. I’m looking all cute for me. When I look good. I feel good. And after you’ve felt really bad for a long time, you do what it takes to feel good again.
When I was going through treatment and I lost my breasts, eyebrows, hair, eyelashes and a lot of weight. My nails turned black and thick. I felt uncomfortable with the way I looked. Whenever I left the house, I went the extra mile to make sure I looked my best. I didn’t want people staring at me. I learned how to put on false eyelashes and how to do my make-up. I got eyebrow tinting and extensions done and I wore fabulous wigs and hats to cover my head. When my friends and colleagues would see me, they would say wow, you look great! You don’t even look like you are sick. Those compliments were huge boosts to my self esteem and confidence. Who wants to be told they look sick or see the face of pity from a friend or loved one. Nobody does, and certainly not me!
I spent six months getting chemotherapy, so by the time I finished treatment, putting on makeup and hair everyday had become part of my normal routine. I enjoy the process and I like the outcome. Before my cancer diagnosis, I wore make up sometimes, but I was not really consistent.
When my breasts were removed, I lost a part of my womanhood that will never be the same again. You could say that my extra emphasis on my outward appearance is an attempt to cover those scars that nobody sees. The make up, hair and lashes now camouflage the 2 mounds of fat from my lower stomach that now form my reconstructed breasts. Looking at me from the outside, you will never be able to tell that I had my breasts removed, but I will always feel that loss on the inside.
Cancer treatment can take a huge toll on your body, and sometimes make you look like a completely different person. I embraced the changes and created a new me. I am beautiful and I wanted to make sure I felt beautiful too. I can’t say it enough. When you look good, you feel good. So when you are having a down day, spruce yourself up and garner a few complements. It will go a long way towards making you feel great and boosting your confidence.
What things do you do to help yourself feel good?
:Looking good on the outside goes a long way towards making you feel good on the inside.
